Zazenkai, and Roshi's Birthday

Roshi's teaching today at Zazenkai recounted stories from earlier Buddhist masters. The teisho was hard to comprehend. The stories recounted in the teisho were hard to comprehend. They were stories of incomprehensible stories. Many layers of mystery.

Roshi spoke first of faith- faith that is, in the existence of meaning to be glimmered from the stories and practices of Zen. Faith, I conclude, that would carry one past the futility of understanding anything quickly or as the result of someone else's pronouncement. This is a faith that upholds one through doubt.

So that is two of the three- faith, doubt, and perseverance. Perseverance is what one provides by being there week after week. The monks in Roshi's story persevere year after year, generation after generation, trying to understand the mystery, trying to penetrate the silence. This, with very few clues.

I experienced tears of joy today when Roshi appeared in the zendo this morning. He is evidence of centuries of perseverance. He represents the perseverance of both the Zen masters who precede him in his lineage, and the Catholic priestly lineage which began at the resurrection of Christ. These lineages persist in the face of endless human doubt. Despite whatever doubts he himself carries, Roshi is still there after his many decades of practice.

In this, his silent presence alone, I find much inspiration. The words of the teisho, are as frosting on the cake.