Girl Rules

That last trip was the second of my solo journeys. This one, though altogether worth it, was a killer. On the return, I outsmarted myself by checking my rolling bag because it is heavy to lift to the overheads. So in lieu of that feat, I got a three-block walk through O'Hare airport with my second "smaller" (ha!) bag over my shoulder instead of riding on top of the roller. Lesson learned.

I am just now recovered after two 90-minute massages. I am reflecting on "girl rules," and why this trip and the last were worth every spasmed muscle.

1. When girl rules are in effect, the body is obeyed. Eat when hungry, sleep when tired, stay pajama'ed until the need for clothing arises. Shower outdoors at any time. Pick pimples at will. Fart freely when necessary, belch.

2. Goals do not supercede either the body or the social flow. There is work, of course, but work a spell, sit a spell. Work in the body's rhythm. The goal is not the task, but the flow.

3. Sleep when sleepy. No need for pretense. If you are tired, you are tired.

4. Bodily functions are fair fodder for humor. We've changed diapers and now that we are turning sixty, the subject of pee accrues renewed hilarity. Quote, upon announcing our imminent arrival at a friend's: "Get out the Chux, Nancy, a couple of old bags are headed your way!"

5. No gathering is complete without several sessions of laughter so intense as to cause loss of control of some bodily function. Tears, inability to breathe, choking and peeing all qualify.

6. Messes are permitted, indeed expected when having several projects going at once. The only rule is to leave it as clean as you found it.

7. During longer gatherings, stinking is not desireable, but showering and then letting hair dry like straw and refraining from make-up are absolutely acceptable. It makes your partners feel beautiful when they see you looking spent, and it is always a delight at the end to see how nicely we clean up.

8. Active daydreaming is a sine qua non for the flow. Those dreams are stinted in the company of men and children, in whom they inspire anxiety. But when girl rules are in effect, stated intentions inspire no anxiety, nor disappointment when they do not materialize.

9. If possible do not leave the house for anything but food and project supplies.

10. Complaints about men and children are OK, so long as they are followed by verbal practice at accepting these people as they are, for after all, what are the choices? Whining about them is to be avoided, though occasional eye-rolling is not prohibited. The main thing is to affirm to one another that we do indeed create our vision of the world, if not the world itself.

11. Whining about bodily aches and pains is tolerable in moderation. Sympathy lubricates the flow.

12. Exchange all new information about cosmetics, sexual lubricants, self-help books, nutritional supplements, home remedies, etc.

13. Never leave without stating a strong intention for another get-together.