Wherever You Go, There You Are

(Post title borrowed from a book by Jon Kabat-Zin)

Two subjects: My upcoming visit to a new church, and my recent purges.

I can't wait to walk into a new church this Sunday with a new set of expectations. Then I will find out if the assortment of phonies, bigots, consumer Christians, and the offensive "Jesus Show" was really, after all, me. The target is mu. There is no difference between me and the target, and it will be through mastery of my own movement that I will create relationship with the Divine in a community setting. I am not skilled at this.

The Zen books are in paper bags at the doorway waiting a convenient trip down to the Zendo. I have read and assimilated them, and now they are an obstacle to my practice. I have not given up listening to the Chicago Zen Center, where the teacher is very articulate (Is this the "Zen Show?"). BUT, that is the extent of my current intellectual wanking with Zen.

I tried to tell Roshi about my recent in vitro enlightenments, but it was too late. The moments had passed. I could not recount them adequately, though he did acknowledge that I had seen the one side of mu- emptiness. So what the hell is the other side??

This weekend Jada (my long-time art bud and teacher) will come with her truck and strong back to divest me of much of my pottery crap, moving it to a new art center in which she is teaching. This will hurt, but it must be done.

Wherever I go, there will be a new, lighter (emptier) me. And this intention MUST be accompanied by action, because thoughts of whether and how to do this have themselves become burdensome.