To "So Order Your Life"

Today I was talking to someone at the retreat center about my experience on the way to the zendo on Thursday. What I realize is that it is NOT the sitting that is hard, not the meditation, or disregarding the busy mind, oh no. These things are sometimes sweet relief.

The hardest part by far is to "so order your life," as to make time, save enough energy, and arrive at practice in a reasonably peaceful state for meditation. Meditation is not to be used as therapy or healing for a frazzled state of mind (though it often functions that way). Meditation is practice at having enough mental awareness to recognize, and enough control to release unnecessary drama, hyper-reactivity, and overstimulation in the culture that surrounds me.

I see that I repeat myself on this theme, and it is only because of how hard it is not only to have this insight again and again, but to remember to practice it daily. I see that there is a shift in my perception of meditation and mindful work and how these things operate as part of my practice.